Saturday, January 31, 2009

I am Sanstav Paul's father. We lost him in an aircrash on 21 Dec 08 at Phoenix, Arizona. He was our only child and let me state that we are a set of proud parents. Sanstav was a brilliant child and I am not talking academically or physically, but mentally also. I dont remember a single occasion when we Even had to raise our eyebrows in his life of 19 yrs or so. The relationship we three shared was that of mutual respect and friendship. There were occasions when his friends called him a Mama's boy but he never cared for that bcos he always valued relationships more than anything else. I have never yet come across a boy who was so focussed in life. People might say that heres a father praising his son who is no more but these facts were known to all who knew him.

Today he is not there with us. For us' life has suddenly become a meaningless existence with nothing to look forward to. I always was a firm believer in the adage that whatever god does, does it for the best. Now what good will come out of this, I DON'T KNOW. How do I answer this question to Sandhya, I am all at sea. 

People say that this was your Karma. Why are we being punished by god for things done in some previuos birth, which I don't know or remember. I never knew that life can be so cruel to us for no rhyme or reason


  1. No one would say that this blog is nothing but that dad is praising his son. I am one of vitness for what all you have said about Sanstav, I know Sanstav for very small period of time though. We had a such relationship as if we knew each other for edges. His absence made even my life miserable...I too dont understand sometimes that was that punishment by GOD, to him or for us? why all this happened and why with us and why with that innocent child.
    I knew him as Sanstav Paul excatly 9 months ago and within these nine months he was "Santubabu" for me........may God bless him wherever he is and should keep him happy

  2. Munish, you may not know me, but having lost someone very close to me, I can understand your pain and anguish. What you must realise is that this pain and misery will be with you for the rest of your lives unless you choose to do something about it. Nothing that any one can say or do can now turn the clock back or ease your suffering. You alone have this power with you. Seeing your first entry, I am convinced that you will recover over a period of time. Perhaps your wife may keep questioning this loss and her bewilderment is understandable. She will, in all likelihood, be asking herself, if it is worth living anymore. Yes life is still worth living. If, as you say, your son lived his life to the fullest, take consolation in the fact that you could enable this for him. Perhaps his time on earth was limited to these years, who knows.

    My point is that it is futile to look for reasons behind this tragedy. Like all Indians, we are the first one to blame our karma for anything wrong. That to me is an escapist option. You have only this one life to live. Live it by remembering the happy moments of your life together. I know it is very difficult to do so, but you have to go on. Perhaps take up some cause that you can devote your energies into - some thing that will give you inner satisfaction.

    Being an atheist myself, I cannot in all honesty tell you to trust in god. But I can definitely tell you to trust in yourself and look after each other.

    Hope this helps

  3. Thanks a lot for yr advice. I know only time will be able to heal the wound but the scar never goes. At times, I seem to be running out of patience. Anyway thanks and hope u get the courage to recover from yr loss.

  4. Dear Paul Sir,
    We all missed Sanstav during the squadron golden jubilee celebrations. He was the energy behind the kids in all squadron gettogethers just like his father. But we really appreciate the pains you took to muster courage and force ma'am to make it to the event. It gave us an opportunity to actually be with you in this grief. Sanstav would have led the celebrations from the front.
    Sir I know it is not appropriate for me to pen down my thoughts now but I could muster courage only now. Especially after speaking to you.
    Hope god shows us the way to garner courage and keep the thoughts of Sanstav as happy as possible.